Week 3 - Motivation

I just want to take a few minutes and talk about what is motivating me lately.

My birthday is next Sunday. I'll be 46. And, it struck me today that my motivation for wanting to lose weight isn't because I have body issues. I don't hate my body. I'm not saying that I never did. I know, in my 20s, that I was very body conscious and I felt that way in my 30s as well. So, maybe it's weird that at my heaviest, I don't have those same issues at play. Maybe there's something that comes with age that makes me feel this way...I just can't muster any body hate as motivation to lose weight.

My partner thinks I'm beautiful. And though I am overweight, I have a body that is pretty healthy. I got my blood work back a month or so ago and all the tests were good. Everything works. When I exercise, my body responds well. I don't know if this kind of feeling comes with getting older...moving towards the other side of the 40s...maybe that's when you just get to the point where you don't really care what anyone else thinks about what you look like, as long as you feel okay when you look in the mirror (and your partner still finds you sexy and beautiful).

So what I really felt today is that my motivation to lose weight is about being the best I can possibly be...it's about treating myself as if I am my number one priority. It is about being healthy. So at some point, I expect, that the numbers really go away...and the only reason I use them now is that they serve as a marker of my progress. But I will try to keep in mind...even though I have almost 50 pounds to lose, that doesn't mean that I'm not a beautiful woman who lives a rich, full life.

Oh...and no matter what the scale says on Friday...I will be celebrating my 46th year with copius amounts of champagne and, if there is a God, one of my favorite cakes (and a nice dinner out!).