Things I want to do (this is not a bucket list)...

There are things that I want to do...things I want to do before the end of the year and things in the coming year and for the rest of my life.

1. Clean out all those rubbermaid containers in the basement
The last time we moved I filled at least half of those containers. That was at least 3 years ago and I have hardly touched them since. So, clearly, I no longer need that stuff. It's hard to throw or give that stuff away because a lot of it, I know, I will pick up and think, "This is awesome! I want to keep this!"

2. Become a yogi
I want to be one of those beautiful people...lean, flexible and with a glow of peace and harmony around them. I want to age into a woman with long grey hair who can do a headstand or backbend...who runs 3 miles a day and meditates every night and wouldn't think of ending the day without doing an hour of yoga.

3. Make conscious choices
I cave to reaction more than I take action consciously.

4. Eat Positive
I want to eat only foods that are good for me and for the earth. I want to eat organically, locally, and mainly stick to plants. I do not want to eat sugar, pork, dairy. If I eat an animal, I want it to be humanly raised. I want to make conscious choices about the sea life I eat (no tuna or other over-fished fish, nothing farm raised). I want to drink lots of water and teas that are good for me. I want to cook most of the things I eat. I want to grow most of the things I eat.

5. Be the marketing manager for a company that is eco-conscious and is GLBT friendly
I want to make well over double what I'm making now. I want to work no more than 40 hours a week and I want to have great benefits. I want to work with people who are smart, funny, and loyal. I want to work with a good team and I want to look forward to work every day.

6. I want to have a group of best friends.
I want to have friends that I see regularly and enjoy being with. I want to make deep and lasting friendships. I want to have long talks and many laughs. I want a yoga friend. I want a running friend. I want a gardening and canning friend. I want to be the kind of friend that you can always count on to be there for you...to listen when you feel sad and be encouraging when you're going through a hard time. I want to be the kind of friend that makes you laugh so hard, you cry.

7. I want to go back to Paris.
But I also want to go to Hawaii and Greece and New Zealand. I want to live in Paris for a year and a day.

8. I want to be legally married.
I worry all the time what would happen to me or my partner if one of us was to get really sick and/or die. I know this is kind of morbid but it also really worries me. Even though it is not legal in all states, I would, at least, like to go to a state where it is legal and get married there. I also wish I knew a fantastic gay rights lawyer who could set us up with all the right documents (not that they are any guarantee to anything, re: google what rights are denied gay couples).

9. I want to be enough
I want to feel like I have enough. I want to feel like I am good enough. It's really that simple.

That's it. This list feels so unachievable to me. I feel anxiety just looking at it. It seems like it would take a lifetime to accomplish any one of those things. Better get to it...