Back in the day, I would have lost 30 pounds in two months. Now, I've lost 3.6. That's a pathetic effort. And no, I'm not being hard on myself...it's just a fact.
Sure, I've been working. That's my go to excuse these days. My job has been my number one priority since about this time last year. And, if I'm being honest, my job remains a priority. I want to almost double my salary by next year. Ambitious? Maybe. But I'm not getting any younger and I have got to get my finances sorted before it's too late.
So, all this to say...it's been too easy to blow off exercise because I'm too tired when I wake up and exhausted and stressed by the time I get home from work. And, while I often make healthy choices regarding food, I still have my moments where I will have a couple of cookies after dinner or have mac and cheese for dinner (or add butter to my grilled corn on the cob). Not enough calories to put me on a path to gaining. If I were trying to maintain my weight over the past couple of years, I would have done a bang up job!
I just can't seem to get that intensity and motivation to go the extra mile to actually lose any weight. I keep telling myself that I can do it. I keep trying to get myself psyched and motivated. I read about losing weight (books, blogs, etc.) and I write about it. I buy food stuffs that are good for me. I have my home gym set up...one that has worked for me in the past. I have found a style of yoga that I really enjoy. But none of these things have actually helped me to lose weight.
Looking at the big picture...what I am beginning to understand is that I might need to feel good about where I am...about who I am...right now...right here in this moment.
I was reading the latest Shambala magazine (the focus of the whole issue is meditation...it's a really great issue) and one idea that I am going to try...say to yourself, before you fall asleep at night, "I'm going to get up 30 mins early tomorrow and get on the treadmill before I do anything else." Then let yourself ask, "Really?" Then respond. "Really. I am going to do it." And if you can't respond in that way, then save yourself the let down and be honest, "No, I'm going to get up and make coffee and watch the news and surf the web."
I want to try that. I think it's about setting the intention and following through just one night at a time.
1 comment:
Kim--you're aware and conscious. Those are important steps. While 'being hard on yourself' how about at least acknowledging the good you have accomplished....all those things starting off your post. A thought--weight watchers online is really making it happen for me. I'm not using all kinds of their products, instead eating mostly 'real food', fresh food, but the method & the record-every-bite is really working; maybe it can help you? Regardless...be proud of what you HAVE done, and one night at a time, one day at a time....you can do this.
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