Flying Pig Weekend!

The Flying Pig Poster

I picked up my race packet today. Got lots of FP swag! Took a few pix...next year, it would be fantastic if someone would do this with me!

Part of the racer packet is a Flying Pig poster. I have 4 of them! Was just thinking, maybe I should frame them and hang them up in my home gym...that could be pretty inspiring!

The Pig is kind of awesome because you get some cool swag - the technical shirt, a backpack and a poster. I bought the shoe jewelry, the GU, the teeny tiny Glide, a vintage FP technical shirt, and the little, tiny runner's pouch.

Flying Pig SWAG (stuff we always get!)

The runner's belt: It's like a super tiny fanny pack...just big enough to carry my keys, my phone, and a packet of GU. It's the thing that says 13.1 on it.

Just walking through the Expo I picked up a reusable Rumpke bag (this is going to be a GREEN run - I'll follow up with statistics when I get them) and the magazine.

Shoe bling! Too cute and super cheap...how could I not?

My bibb! I'm in pig pen E!!  :D

So I am a bit nervous because I wish I'd trained harder. I am hoping that the weather cooperates...though I  think I should be fine if it rains. I'm not wearing cotton. I will be wearing a hat and carrying a disposable poncho.

The only BLING that I really care about is the piece they give you when you cross the finish line...the medal. ;>

Can't hardly wait...

I was in savasana last night...at the end of my home practice, when the thought came to me, "I'm so tired of telling myself 'I can't'."

I guess I was thinking about some of the poses that I want to do but can't quite get there (backbends...I used to do them so effortlessly when I was a kid). And then I thought about how often I say to myself, "I can't do that because..."

I woke up this late this morning. Too late to workout. As I was trying to decide if I could squeeze in a workout, I realized that I need a rest day. Then workout Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday but off again on Saturday because Sunday is The Flying Pig half!

My weekend retreat...

I had such a relaxing weekend...

I did my workouts...cardio on Saturday and Sunday. Also did some yoga...a longer session on Saturday than Sunday but both satisfying.

I ate healthy and drank lots of tea and water.

I got lots of rest...and, in general, had lots of quiet time.

I did not finish my mala...got started on it and then decided that the beading thread I had wasn't thick enough...so hoping to work on it this week.

So I have something to tell you, dear readers...

During the week of Cathy's birthday, on that Monday, I weighed in and wrote about hitting my 10% lost goal. By the following Monday (last Monday) when I went for my annual physical, I was shocked to see that I'd gained 10 pounds. 10!!!! So okay, I didn't exercise a lot that week and by Friday, I wasn't eating as clean or low calorie...I mean, I made fried chicken and mashed potatoes for the big birthday dinner, for crying out loud. And then had a hot dog and peanuts and nachos and beer at the Reds game. But still, 10 pounds???

It was eye-opening. My portions weren't that much bigger...it was, rather, the processed stuff (and probably alcohol that I drank) that blew me up like a balloon. I was so full after that weekend. So bloated!

By yesterday, after a week of clean eating and a little exercise, I'd taken off 7 of the 10 'pounds'...

It's weird too because most of the weight loss blogs that I read and some of my friends have recently experienced a similar loss of motivation/momentum. This was one of the reasons that I wanted to have a Renew You weekend.

I'm going to plan another one for late summer, wonder if anyone would be interested in joining me?

Resources for your retreat...

I posted these videos on my What's Eating You facebook page but also wanted to post them here.

One key component of the retreat is yoga. I have been practicing yoga, on and off for the past few years and, I must say, it's a fantastic, healing form of moving meditation that can open your mind to whole new worlds. Change your mind to change your life, indeed!

Today's recommendations - Tools for transformation:

Sarah Powers Insight Yoga DVD. Or you can find her on Yoga Journal and YouTube.

Another resource for today's agenda - How to Make Your Own Mala - check out this series of videos from YouTube:

Vegetarian Menu for today - Just for today, try to make everything you eat a conscious choice - make it organic and local, if you can - make it cruelty free if at all possible. Be grateful for the food that nourishes you. Make it delicious...

• Breakfast - a fruit salad and Ezekiel Cinnamon Raisin toast with a tablespoon organic nut butter. Earl Grey tea...
• Lunch - watermelon, beet, balsamic salad with roasted root veggies (will post detailed recipe later!)
• Dinner - homemade veggie/black bean chili

Hope you are having a peaceful day...one more thought for today...have you seen the trailer for this movie, Yogawoman...

Retreat Agenda

Is that weird? Retreat Agenda? Should you really have an agenda on a retreat?

I don't know...maybe I'm doing it wrong but I want to have a plan of what I want to do this weekend so that I follow through...otherwise this weekend could easily deteriorate to lying around, watching bad tv and grazing. I want this weekend to be about Renewing myself...to refill the well...to feel good about myself and my journey to optimal health.

So, that said...here's what I plan to do:

Friday:

• Vegetarian Menu for breakfast, lunch, dinner
• Cardio (3 mile walk)
• Steam, Sauna, Detox/Relax Bath
• Renew You Ritual (you can find the link on my What's Eating You blog)

Saturday:

• Vegetarian Menu for breakfast, lunch, dinner
• Cardio (6.5 mile walk)
• Steam & Sauna
• Sarah Powers Insight Yoga Sun Salutations practice and Guided Meditation
• Craft - Making a mala (108 beads, thread to string, needle, floss to make tassel or a special "buddha" bead)
• Reiki Share or Yoga Nidra
• Movies!!! Something really funny and uplifting!

Sunday:

• Vegetarian Menu for breakfast, lunch, dinner
• Cardio (3 mile walk)
• Steam & Sauna
• Sarah Powers Insight Yoga Vinyasa Flow practice and Guided Meditation
• Craft - Making a Recipe Box - What's Feeding You? (recipe box, note cards, markers/pen, old magazines, scissors, glue stick)
• Reiki Share or Yoga Nidra

The "Renew You" Weekend

Starting Friday, after work, through Sunday evening, I'm creating a "Renew You" weekend. This is the first of many retreats to come because I intend to grow a community of women who are focused on creating optimal health for themselves.

This weekend is, simply about renewing my commitment to myself. It is about starting over and beginning again. It's about ramping my motivation up to full power. It is about creating a lifestyle in which optimal health is the focus.

Recently, I read an article on the concept of "starting over." It's called Begin Again by Phillip Moffitt and it can be found in a special magazine by Yoga Journal, Yoga for Weight Loss (page 114). About starting over, Moffitt says, "Starting over practice is like this - you attend as best you can to the immediate situation that is challenging you, keeping yourself firmly rooted in the present. You shift your focus away from dwelling on those circumstances and characteristics that limit you and redirect it toward recognizing the strengths from which can realize your potential. You become a more effective person by simply learning to use your time and energy to do what you can do right now."

I will be incorporating the concept of starting over into my weekend of renewal.

On the agenda:

• How to begin a daily Yoga practice (asana, meditation and yoga nidra)
• Cardio (both fast walking through the beautiful neighborhood and zumba!)
• Restorative yoga classes (yin yoga and gentle vinyasa flow)
• A supportive detox (eating from a vegetarian and vegan menu), steam room and sauna (a modern sweat lodge, if you will), detoxing herbs/teas, and lots of peace and quiet
• A Renew You guided meditation

If you'd like to join me for any part of the weekend, let me know!

10%!!!

Hit the 10% lost mark today...that means, I've lost 20 pounds since January.

I feel so much better. I feel stronger and more energetic. And I feel lighter, emotionally.

Is my life perfect now? Hardly. Will it be when I lose the remaining 30 pounds? Doubtful. But I expect that I will feel even better! I expect to feel strong. I expect to go through a vinyasa flow class without thinking "Damnit! I hate this! I just want to lay on the floor!" I expect to sleep soundly at night and wake up with energy to get me through the day.

I am thrilled with the results of my effort. I know it's just a number on the scale. I know it's not an accurate measure of health. It's just a marker. But I don't care...for today I am going to celebrate this milestone! Goodbye 180s! Hello 170s...see you next week!

My 30 day probiotic trial...

has been a success! I couldn't be more thrilled and have bought another bottle of this amazing supplement.

I was fairly faithful...there may have been a day or two here and there when I skipped my morning regimen...but for the most part, I took them consistently.

Warning: This next bit is not for the squeemish.

Before I started taking probiotics, I had a major issue with having bowel movements. Now anyone who knows anything about the body knows that it is crucial to have at least one healthy movement a day. For me, it was maybe 2-3 times a week. No wonder I often felt heavy and sluggish. I was heavy and sluggish! It wasn't that I wasn't getting enough "roughage" (aka, fruits and veg) because, seriously, I eat a lot of fruit and veg.

So I bought another bottle of the stuff and am going to take it for another 30 days. Though I may adjust my intake to every other day.

By the way...like all my product reviews...this is completely my opinion based on my experience. I was not paid or given free product.

The Great HUGGING Experiment!

Yesterday, when I was out for my long walk, I listened to the two latest Jillian Michaels' podcasts. On one of them she had a guest speaker, endocriologist, Dr. Van Herle.

Dr. V talked about 7 things that will boost your energy. One of them was intimacy with your partner. Not necessarily, sex...even a hug has been proven to raise oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is also known as the love hormone and has been shown to reduce anxiety and increases energy, lessens depression, and helps to combate cardiovascular stressors.

Hearing this got me thinking that maybe a good long hug everyday might help me in more ways than one. Maybe this would be one thing in my day where I felt like I was just receiving unconditional love...something to fill that well.

So I decided to ask my partner to take part in an experiment. I asked her if, every morning, she would give me a 1 minute long hug.

Just thinking about asking for that was kind of scary for me...because asking for it would make me vulnerable...saying this is what I need to feel supported and loved...I don't know, maybe I felt a little stupid, a little less than for asking.

But, of course, I have an amazing, emotionally generous partner who immediately got it and was on board with the experiment. As soon as I asked for it, she got up, walked over to me and gave me good long hug.

So, I'll let you know how this 30 day experiment goes...stay tuned!

What would a mystic do?

In my last post, I touched on the issues of the last two weeks...thought it might be good to explore that a little more.

Ashling wondered if there was a correlation between my success at work and my feelings of not being good enough/feeling insecure. I would tend to agree. Am I the only one who does this?

So wait a minute, let me wrap my head around this...most of the time I feel very insecure at work. I think that I don't project that insecurity...I think I project an image of confidence and friendliness. But, for the most part, I usually feel like I haven't done enough or that I have a million things to do. Or I feel like someone's going to walk up and go, "You suck, get out."

And here's where it really gets weird. So even when 'work' praises me and, even, gives me a formal/tangible appreciation of the work I do (they gave me an "Employee Spotlight" award/certification at work the other day...company wide recognition for Q1) that somehow triggered me to sabotage myself.

The fuck?

You don't know how hard it has been to keep myself from falling completely off the wagon this week. Thank the gods that I didn't run up to Kroger and buy a coconut cake and eat it. Seriously. Cake feels decadent. Cake feels like 'fuck it! I'm fine being fat!" Cake feels like I'm treating myself kindly after a long day of feeling like I'm not good enough at work (which is about 4 out 5 days).

And, I've realized lately, the weight of that insecurity manifests physically in me. What a revelation! It weighs me down and makes me really tired, makes my joints ache, makes me want to come home, lay on the sofa and watch TV. It makes me cranky with the people I love and bitchy to people I don't like.

I didn't know how to get out of this. It's that same old circle that I've been spinning around in for years...forever. It seems.

Since I'm not a religious person but am spiritual (a mystic, if you will)...I decided to appeal to a higher power...to the Universe/God/Goddess/Divine and my higher self. But in a very practical manor. I started by drawing a bath.

I placed a candle, a small statue of a meditating woman, a stick of nag champa incense, and a small jade rock with the word "walk" carved into it, on the sink. I lit the candle and the incense while the bath filled up (to it, I added herbs of chamomile and lavendar, and about a cup of sea salt). As I dry brushed my body, I began with a chant, "I love my body."

When I sank into the hot, sweet smelling bath water, I changed my mantra to "let go"...to let go of negative emotions or perceived mistakes. Then I closed my eyes and just concentrated on my breath and the thought, "everything is okay."

When I got out of the tub, as I dried off, I chanted, "thank you." I held the rock in my hand and looked into the flame of the candle and visualized myself walking my way to health. I blew out the candle and carried the rock with me for the next several days.

The big picture is...for me...it's not about the fat or the number on the scale. It is about dealing with the baggage of my eating disordered thinking (see the paragraph about what cake means to me above!)...it's about finding place of peace rather than living in a constant state of feeling bad about myself...of feeling undeserving and physically worn down.

So I got back on the treadmill on Thursday. And then I did it again on Friday. And I'm about to go for a walk now. I feel like I've gotten a little further down my path...

5 Weeks to Flying Pig!

I don't know what happened after my last post. One day I was in my zone and the very next, I fell off the wagon. Actually, I was still on but just kind of hanging off the side. It's not like I ran out and bought a cake and ate the whole thing. I just stopped working out.

Though, last night I had a couple glasses of red wine and cheese and bread for dinner. It was moderate. I made conscious decisions to not make a huge plate of cheese and bread and olives and toasted macademia nuts (and some sliced dates)...

What's been my go to excuse for more than a week? I'm tired. I don't feel good. I had a long day at work. (All true but wouldn't I feel better after a workout? Almost always!).

So let me take some responsibility here...or accountability. I knew what I was doing...I was sabotaging myself. Why? Maybe I was feeling like I needed a little extra "love"...somehow, someway, I have been feeling super insecure and unworthy...which, I think, makes me want to be treated with love. At the risk of sounding like a selfish brat, what I mean is, that sometimes or during those high insecure times, I need to be petted and cooed at. I guess. Sometimes I feel like I spend most of my life making sure that everyone else is okay...is happy...not hurt, not needing. During those times, the well starts to run pretty dry, which means I need that kind of attention too.

So when I'm feeling insecure, I turn to my old ways of comforting myself...food, wine, crawling in a hole and pulling the blanket over me (aka: not moving/not exercising).

Does any of this make sense?

Honestly, I probably need to write more but it's 7:03am and if I don't get on the treadmill right now, I won't do it at all today. :)