Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Importance of Clear Goal Setting

It's resolution time...as if you didn't know that. Television commercials and talk shows are all pushing the fact that we must make resolutions at this time of the year.

It's not that I'm anti-resolution, it's that I want to have a more structured goal than a wish that I hope comes true in the new year.

So...I've been trying to decide how this is going to work...I've decided to have some activity goals to aspire to. Mainly some running/walking goals.
A couple of tools that I have started using that you might want to try:
  • DailyMile (to track walking/running program - it's free and is the source of my Donut Meter)
  • FitDay (to track everything else - seriously, what a fantastic FREE program)
Other goals:
  • 1286 calories per day until I reach my goal weight
  • Yoga 3x per week
  • Switch out weekday morning coffee to unsweetened tea

Self-esteem and Self-talk

I believe that negative self-talk can completely derail our plans for change. Years ago, I was really good about not engaging in that kind of behavior...but lately, I've realized that I have been doing a lot of negative self-talk.

My self-esteem has suffered a bit in the last 3 years. I don't know where or when or how it happened but my self-esteem is at an all time low. I really believe low self-esteem is a huge deterrent to reaching our goals.

So...how to boost self-esteem so that I can stay on track?

Look at negative self-talk. Try to be mindful of the times you are saying things that are not supporting your goals. This is really insideous so you are going to have to pay attention.

This morning, I was on the treadmill...do I need to go into how many times I tried to talk myself out of it?...I first woke up at 6:11am and had two thoughts, "oh, I slept good!" and "oh, there's still time to sleep!"

I was happy that I'd slept soundly (this is rare as I often wake up and toss and turn for a couple of hours) and I wanted more of it. But when my head hit the pillow, I had another thought, "I need to get up and get on the treadmill."

My response to that was less than positive.

I tried to go back to sleep but after arguing with myself, I finally got out of bed at 6:40. I went downstairs and into the kitchen. Instead of coffee, I made myself a cup of tea. Caught up on some email. And then put on my shoes just in time to step on my treadmill at the planned workout time.

As I'm typing this, I realize that I did something that changed this morning's outcome. As soon as I got out of bed, I put on my workout clothes!

And then, at 7:25, I had a positive thought, "If I don't do this now, I won't do it later. It's now or never." I put on my shoes and got on the treadmill.

1:58 seconds into it Negative Self -Talk sasheyed into the room. "Oh shit. I'm tired. I'm bored."

10:00 minutes into it, there she is again. "Only 10 minutes?? This is hard!"

But this time I responded with, "There's only 20 minutes left. I can do anything."

And a few minutes later, I added, "I can do anything. I can do anything I put my mind to."

Negative Self-talk said, "Yeah, you used to believe that but, not so much, anymore..."

I responded, "I can do anything."

Then it was just walking, walking, walking...

20 minutes into it, she was back, "Oh man, I am tired. 20 minutes is good, maybe we can be done now? You don't have to go crazy, you're just getting back into it..."

I cut her off, "There's only 10 more minutes. I can do anything."

This realization feels like a shift for me...a shift in perspective...that part of changing your mind to change your life thinking...


There's an exercise I read about that I wanted to share (p.54). It's an exercise called "At My Best...". The idea is to think about a time when you were at a healthy weight or were exercising regularly. Then you just complete the sentence/make a list, "At my best, here's how I am..."

So I thought I would share that list here.

At my best, here's how I am:
  • full of energy, positive, smiley
  • fun to be around, laugh a lot
  • feel great, have energy all day, sleep soundly
  • grounded, centered, relaxed and calm
  • accomplish alot at work, enjoy good working relationships
  • eat healthy and to meet nutrional needs
  • am more connected to my partner, affectionate, supportive
  • feel connected spiritually
  • engage in daily yoga/meditation practice
The other self-esteem boosting exercise that I want to share is about listing out your strengths (p. 67). Basically, just make another list...

My strengths: What I am even if I don't always believe it or do it

Physical Attributes - nice hair, good feet, nice hands, pretty eyes, strong, healthy, energetic
Skills & Abilities - creative, smart, quick learner, multiple skill sets, writer, graphic designer, event planner, marketing strategy, teacher, artist, photographer, cook, gardener, quick thinker, organized
Personality Traits - kind, positive, compassionate, loyal friend, thoughtful, fun, easy to be with, strong, assertive

Okay...so talk about feeling like I'm being self-indulgent. I feel like it's important to talk about these things and actually do these things to change things...

If you're reading this and want to share your own lists, please do! We can take inspiration from each other.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Today - A Road Map

  • Today I poured myself a big glass of water and vowed to drink at least 3 more.
  • I filled up the Brita pitcher
  • I took my multi-vitamin
  • I put on my workout clothes and vowed to get my workout in
  • Established clear goals

Yesterday I started cleaning out my clothes closet. I filled up 4 bags of clothes to take to Goodwill. These are nice clothes, for the most part...but they are clothes I no longer wear and, quite frankly, by the time they are back in season, then they will be too big for me. It is time to clear away all that is no longer working for me and to make room for new, fresh perspectives/energies. Going to tackle a few of the boxes down in the basement today.

It seems like there's a lot to do when you decide to take care of yourself...it almost feels overwhelming. It does feel overwhelming. Other things I should do today...dry brush, eat positive (organic/veggies/herbs/local), do some laundry, plan for tomorrow, pedicure, run errands...argh. It's not even 10:30.

Okay...deep breath. Everything is okay. Just go for a walk...

Monday, December 27, 2010

Blessed Yule ~ Merry Christmas ~ Happy New Year!

Hope everyone had a good holiday!

Perfect time of the year to look back...for a weightloss blogger, this can be an enlightening experience.

Guess what? I didn't lose a pound. Didn't gain either. I have maintained...so I guess that's better than gaining. If I felt better about myself then I probably wouldn't care so much about the number on the scale.

I am persistent though.

Assessment is done and I know what I need to do:
  • Keep being persistent - consistency is key to making lasting change
  • Drink more water
  • Exercise, exercise, exercise
  • Yoga/Meditative movement
  • Take a multi-vitamin
  • Eat to be healthy
  • Work 8 hours a day and sleep 8 hours a day

The hardest thing, for me, is getting started. After forgetting to focus on myself for more than a year, my poor body feels so sluggish and, frankly, sick. This past year was really hard and stressful for me and it's written all over my body.

From January to the end of February, I was so stressed out over the direction my job was going in. I got the new position in March, which launched a whole other set of stressors. At the same time, my Mom was going in for her second surgery, and poor Hero was going down fast. The thing that was so hard, was that I knew I had to let her go before my Mom's surgery because I didn't want her to die while I was in St. Louis. It was such a difficult and emotional time.

My best friend at work quit and moved on to another position. I was still worried about the job I was doing and was trying to adapt to a new supervisor (who I adored!). We were so busy doing so many things...I was working at least 50-60 hour work weeks.

Another part of my life came to an end in May. It's such a private part of me that I really don't want to dissect it here but suffice to say, I lost some people who I thought were dear to me...basically, I broke off friendships with a group of ladies who were toxic for me. It's been a heartbreaking process but I don't know how I could have done any differently.

Physically, I did what I have done over the past 6 years...I forgot to put myself first. I self-medicated with wine and cheese and bread and cake. I didn't exercise because I felt so tired and depleted.

Along with the bad moments, there were good ones too...
  • I finally got that promotion that I'd been wanting since starting that job
  • We got a lot of stuff done on the house
  • I finally started a veggie garden
  • I started doing yoga on a more regular basis
  • I got out of a toxic relationship that was damaging to my self-esteem
So what do I want for me in the new year? It's simple, I want to feel healthy. I want to have boundless energy. I want to put my health first. I want to progress in my career. I want to feel good when I wake up in the morning and I want to sleep soundly at night.

I don't know how I'm going to do it. I know that I've been saying, for the past 6 years, that I'm going to make a lasting change...I know that I have failed over and over with this...but this time...this time...I am going to make some lasting change in my life in the coming year. All of the change I intend to manifest will be positive and contribute to my overall health. This is my wish for the New Year...

Friday, December 17, 2010

Ohhh, the Fat Girl, she's tricky like Puck

If you read what I wrote last night you might have caught it. I didn't...not at first. But later I took my first bath in many many moons and while I was relaxing, it came to me...pretty ambitious morning before my root canal. I'd forgotten about the snow and that I'd need to clean off my car...which meant I'd need to get up at 5:30 to get everything done so that I could be at the dentist by 8:00am.

The Fat Girl does this...she will set me up so well so that I will immediately fail and then feel so bad that I just say, "Ef it! I'm eating cake!"

So what's the best I can do this morning? Get up at 6:00am...put on the kettle for my hot green tea, dress up warm and go out to dig out my car, come in and have the tea and some oatmeal for a good breakfast...get a shower/dressed and make my way, carefully - the roads are icy this morning, to the dentist.

I will be sure to, at least, meditate today.

So how's that? More realistic?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

My Year End Vacation: Pushing the Restart Button

Another year is almost gone and, it appears, that my inner Fat Girl has won again.

The Fat Girl is a master manipulator and is so quick to bring up reasons why my inner Fit Girl can't work out or needs to eat that donut that day.

But, I gotta hand it to Fat Girl...she hasn't sabotaged my career (just my health). I think she likes to use it as a big excuse...that's why I'm often so tired and stressed out...too tired and stressed out to exercise, get to a yoga class, or even meditate.

But she didn't count on this end of the year vacation. And how this might strengthen Fit Girl's resolve to make a lasting change...once and for all.

So, tomorrow...I wake to start my day with Green Tea and organic fresh lemon juice. Then onto the treadmill. After treadmill, it's a healthy breakfast of steel cut oats with organic raisins and pecans and a touch of honey.

Then I have to leave the house in time to make it to my early morning dental appointment (8am). I want to get in the workout and breakfast first because I know I'm not going to feel like doing it later.

When I get home, I will take a nap or just rest. Something that is ABSOLUTELY forbidden? No checking work email. In fact, maybe I should change the settings on my Blackberry so that I don't get emails that way.

My goal, over vacation is to get into a routine where my health is a high priority for me. One that is not easily crossed off my 'to do' list because something else comes up or because the Fat Girl is tired or 'hungry' or 'wants a treat'...

I want to workout on my treadmill, do yoga, and meditate daily. I want to eat healthy and enjoy my holiday without the stress of work.

Do you think I can do it? Who's going to pull it out at the last minute: Fat Girl or Fit Girl???

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

It's a small thing...

This morning, I woke up and thought, oh coffee would be good. Maybe just one more morning, just this morning, I will have coffee...and tomorrow I'll have green tea with lemon.

Last night I made a lovely salmon salad for my lunch today. And I set up my morning station to make a cup of green tea with fresh lemon juice. I did that because I feel that my morning habit of coffee is so ritualized now...part of the pain of giving up that habit would be giving up the ritual of it.

You know...wake up, no thinking, just shuffle down to the kitchen, turn on the light over the stove, go over, rinse the coffee pot and fill with cold water, pour in coffee maker, rinse coffee grounds basket, measure out coffee, close basket, push on button, let Riley out. Get creamer out of refrigerator, set out clean coffee cup, get a small spoon from the silverware drawer, get a small glass ramiken down to hold the spoon. Set sugar bowl by coffee cup. Let Riley in. Place 1tsp organic sugar in cup. Pour in coffee. Pour in small amount of organic creamer, stir. Smell, sip.

I've done that practically every morning for probably 20 years (with a few differences, like it used to be Hero that I let out every morning).

So I thought that I would need to develop a little ritual for making the green tea. But when I woke up this morning, I thought about those cookies that Cathy had brought home from the holiday party and how they'd be good with a cup of coffee. And I thought, "I don't have to not drink coffee this morning because I need to eat one of those cookies because they are here."

But the thing is...and stay with me because I know this is going to sound weird...I dreamed that I packed a backpack and went on a quest...I was looking for a woman...a real guru...and like you do in dreams, she appeared and started showing me things...completely inexplicable things like goldfish walking on stilts on the land...dozens of images like that...and she said, "the body is an amazing thing and adapts to what we need..." and then she looked at me and said, "you are perfect already...you have everything...get to that perfection."

So when I was lying in bed this morning and thinking I would have coffee this morning instead of green tea, I thought about that dream and I thought, 'okay, just this morning, I'm going to have green tea with lemon instead of coffee with sugar."

It's a small thing, I know...but a first step on the journey to giving up refined sugar.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

How I lost 30 pounds through yoga and never saw them again, with embarrassing “before” picture

Via Claudia Azula Altucheron Dec 7, 2010

How I lost 30 pounds through yoga and never saw them again, with embarrassing “before” picture


Early in 2008 I set off for a trip to India.


When I returned, I was 30 pounds lighter. The weight never came back.

A friend who knew me “before” and then “after” recently asked me how did this happen and as I tried to recall I noticed that it was not just because of the yoga, or the trip, or the food, or because I starved myself, and certainly not because I was mean or deprecating to myself in an attempt to discipline my food choices. None of that had anything to do with it.

Releasing weight can be a drama or not, it can be hard or not—it depends on so many factors that I do not believe one single method can ever work for everyone.

But these steps worked for me:

1-Loving myself
There is no way around it, no matter who says that the US has an epidemic of whatever it might, or that I, or you, may need a diet or blah, blah, blah, it is all nonsense if we do not start at the beginning. Loving and respecting me enough to sit down and look at what was important in life was the very first step.

I know it may sound silly but I followed Louise Hay’s exercise of looking at myself in the mirror and saying “I love you”, to my own image. At first it felt silly, stupid even, and you know why? Because I did not believe it. But a few weeks into it I did start to believe that I was worth of my own respect, and it helped me get grounded in acting as if I loved myself until I did eventually fully believe in it.

2-Daily Yoga-asana Practice
I find that the release of the weight for me had to do with a “momentum” rather than a “get thin quick” mentality. By the time I took my trip I had been practicing daily yoga-asana for a year (6 times a week, 1.5 hours each day), and it had taken me 3 years to build up to such a strong and committed practice.

When it comes to releasing weight I find that it does not so much matter what kind of yoga one practices, but that one does. The simple act of getting on the mat every day sends the body the message that one cares. The body gets to be stretched, paid attention to, and aligned.

Throughout time my body began to take over, for example: it knew that we (body and mind) would have to enter kurmasana (tortoise pose) the following morning, and it knew that an empty stomach would make such exertions more palatable, and so it signaled me NOT to eat anything past 7 PM, a practice that has become a habit, because my body says so.

3-Verbal Messages
I find that people dismiss this quickly, so much so that I began to suspect it is a very well-kept secret.

When somebody wants to manifest something positive, then keeping the vocabulary clean (no curse words, no negativity), is key. It surprises me to no end to see, even in yoga circles, a tremendous denial of the power of the word. I hear people complain all the time, say bad/dirty/loaded words, and talk about their bodies with negativity.

Even as you read this, I will dare bet that you will either read through, or dismiss it promptly. If you are still reading you are probably ready to hear it. If you are, then do not allow negativity into you, in any form. This in turn has the effect of cleansing the mind and to release bad ideas, extra anger and extra weight. Think of a diet of words as a foundation, the bad ones are very high in bad fats and calories.

There is a reason why I call it “weight release” (except perhaps in the title of this post), and that is because phrasing it that way is more powerful since usually whenever we “lose” something we try to “find it again”.

4- Cleansings
Weight release can also be thought of as “cleansing”. What is necessary is to look at what is coming into our bodies and how fast it is coming out. If we are not going to the bathroom (both for number one and two) daily, then there is a problem.

Just as an example, there are easy-to-use enema bags that help ensure that the “pipes” are clear. When I talk to friends about enemas they usually freak out, and so did I when I first heard about them. However I was blessed to have a teacher in Thailand go over all of my fears and answer each one of them. Will it hurt? No, it does not. Will it be uncomfortable? Maybe but you are totally in control and can regulate the intensity.

Some people go all out and do a “colonics”. Movie stars do these frequently because of the glow it produces. I have not tried one yet, but I want to. They are not too expensive and have an even deeper effect. And hey! If they are good for movie stars they are good for me too.

5-When you are hungry, drink water first
A yoga teacher once said that to me. Most of us get the signal of hunger when in reality it is thirst speaking. I know I confuse the signals sometimes.

I have tried this many times, especially at mid-morning when I hear the stomach rumble with noise in what seems like starvation, and found that drinking one or two full glasses of water may not stop the feeling of wanting to eat, but at least will delay it. It will also hydrate the body, and help it with the elimination process.

6-Cooking
While in India I felt a little scared about eating in restaurants because the quality of their water is very dangerous for westerners so, for example, eating salads (or anything raw) outside of the house was not an option. This forced me to start cooking, and I prepared lots of stews and soups with boiled vegetables and olive oil which I served with brown rice. I also learned how to make lentil dal, and kicheri, nutritious and easy meals that are tasty and nutritious.

Also I understood that very often our bodies are starving for real nutrition. For example, I learned that taking spirulina supplements is a great way of supplementing the diet so as not to have to eat a pound of spinach every day, or that Niacin (a type of B vitamin) helps enormously in uplifting moods.

7-Take that overdue vacation, make it a real one regardless of how long
Taking time for ourselves seems impossible, but it is not. When a body is overweight, it is out of balance. When a body is out of balance it needs time for itself, to heal, to have an opportunity to assess what exactly is happening and what can be done to help it. As long as the time we give to ourselves is dedicated, focused time, it is useful, otherwise we are not nurturing our soul, and an un-nurtured soul produces an unbalance that usually manifests in us reaching for the ice cream.

I have noticed that people who say that there is absolutely no way they can take time for themselves are actually saying that their priorities do not involve taking time off, meaning, their focus is not on their own wellbeing but rather on other things.

8-Surrendering
Our bodies are determined by our genes and ancestors. It is important to respect nature. Yoga and these principles can restore our body to our original blue-print, to what our bodies would be like if completely healthy, but they will not transform us into super models. The real miracle in weight release happens when we shift perception, when we can accept our body as it is and treat it well, with respect, providing good nutrition for it, so that it can function at its peak, which also means, mind you, at its ideal weight.

9.-Choosing the middle path (satvic)
Trying to eat only spinach or only drink water with lemon for days or going completely raw overnight or any other extreme is not only unrealistic, it is also dangerous and guaranteed to never work because we are fighting against a very powerful force of nature: our own natural psychological tendencies, which have been ingrained into us over a period of well, think about your age, that long! In yoga this has to do with our “gunas” or psychological tendencies, of which there are three, rajasic or overexcited, tamasic or lethargic and satvic or balanced.

Forcing ourselves to be always balanced or satvic is in itself rajasic or out of balance in a forcing way because we are trying to machete our way through into the middle rather than respecting what is actually happening right now. Falling into denial is not the answer.

For example, a few months back I felt like eating marshmallows. These are not exactly healthy treats as they have gelatin and are full of suggar, but I was fortunate enough at that very moment to be listening to Richard Freeman’s Yoga Matrix and to hear exactly this, and so I ended up enjoying the marshmallows, which was, albeit counterintuitive, the most satvic or balanced thing I could have done. Interestingly, I have not felt the urge to eat them again ever since.

10-Attend a 12 step meeting
There is a cathartic effect in admitting our vulnerability to other people, as for instance when someone confesses to a group of people that he or she ate two pints of ice-cream the night before, or when someone says: “I am powerless over this”. 12 step meetings work because they are simple steps that demand enormous courage, of the type that can only be navigated with help from others who also happen to find themselves in a similar setting.

The benefit of 12 steps is that they open people up, they reconcile people with their own humanity, through them we find that what we think is “crazy” in us, is just as normal as it is in any other person, we all share a common humanity, we are all one, and I have yet to see a form of therapy that is more effective than people being brutally honest in a group, and under very specific regulations for sharing, with proper boundaries and respect.

Interestingly enough, it was a conversation with Carl Jung that led to the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous, and through that all related 12 Step Programs.

11- Patience
Recovering a healthy body may take time, but every day things speed up, there is a momentum that is generated by slowly adding more and more healthy habits and releasing the old ones that do not serve us anymore.

So what if it takes 6 months or a year, or three? I have seen with my own eyes fellow yogis practice for 5 years and then all of a sudden release an enormous amount of weight. In the end, the recovery of the original healthy body also happens by grace; we put all the healthy and nurturing elements in place, and then surrender to divine intervention, Gita style.

12.- Train yourself in trusting your instincts
Before every meal ask: “what is the most nutritious thing I can eat right now”? and trust, and let your body have it. Remember moderation, of course, but do go ahead. It may be decadent chocolate mud pie today, it might be baby spinach salad with fresh olive oil sprinkled with raw almonds tomorrow.

And so here is the embarrassing “before” picture. I was at about 148 pounds. just like all those “before” pictures this is a photograph of a photograph which kind of makes it look like one on those brochures that abound out there.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Things I want to do (this is not a bucket list)...

There are things that I want to do...things I want to do before the end of the year and things in the coming year and for the rest of my life.

1. Clean out all those rubbermaid containers in the basement
The last time we moved I filled at least half of those containers. That was at least 3 years ago and I have hardly touched them since. So, clearly, I no longer need that stuff. It's hard to throw or give that stuff away because a lot of it, I know, I will pick up and think, "This is awesome! I want to keep this!"

2. Become a yogi
I want to be one of those beautiful people...lean, flexible and with a glow of peace and harmony around them. I want to age into a woman with long grey hair who can do a headstand or backbend...who runs 3 miles a day and meditates every night and wouldn't think of ending the day without doing an hour of yoga.

3. Make conscious choices
I cave to reaction more than I take action consciously.

4. Eat Positive
I want to eat only foods that are good for me and for the earth. I want to eat organically, locally, and mainly stick to plants. I do not want to eat sugar, pork, dairy. If I eat an animal, I want it to be humanly raised. I want to make conscious choices about the sea life I eat (no tuna or other over-fished fish, nothing farm raised). I want to drink lots of water and teas that are good for me. I want to cook most of the things I eat. I want to grow most of the things I eat.

5. Be the marketing manager for a company that is eco-conscious and is GLBT friendly
I want to make well over double what I'm making now. I want to work no more than 40 hours a week and I want to have great benefits. I want to work with people who are smart, funny, and loyal. I want to work with a good team and I want to look forward to work every day.

6. I want to have a group of best friends.
I want to have friends that I see regularly and enjoy being with. I want to make deep and lasting friendships. I want to have long talks and many laughs. I want a yoga friend. I want a running friend. I want a gardening and canning friend. I want to be the kind of friend that you can always count on to be there for you...to listen when you feel sad and be encouraging when you're going through a hard time. I want to be the kind of friend that makes you laugh so hard, you cry.

7. I want to go back to Paris.
But I also want to go to Hawaii and Greece and New Zealand. I want to live in Paris for a year and a day.

8. I want to be legally married.
I worry all the time what would happen to me or my partner if one of us was to get really sick and/or die. I know this is kind of morbid but it also really worries me. Even though it is not legal in all states, I would, at least, like to go to a state where it is legal and get married there. I also wish I knew a fantastic gay rights lawyer who could set us up with all the right documents (not that they are any guarantee to anything, re: google what rights are denied gay couples).

9. I want to be enough
I want to feel like I have enough. I want to feel like I am good enough. It's really that simple.

That's it. This list feels so unachievable to me. I feel anxiety just looking at it. It seems like it would take a lifetime to accomplish any one of those things. Better get to it...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Overeating Alters the Brain

I've been reading and hearing a lot about this lately. (see the post I wrote about the book The End of Overeating).

Wanted to share this article from NPR.

December 1, 2010
If you've ever wondered why it's hard to stay on a diet, consider this observation from Ralph DiLeone, a brain scientist at Yale University: "The motivation to take cocaine in the case of a drug addict is probably engaging similar circuits that the motivation to eat is in a hungry person."

That's what brain scientists have concluded after comparing studies of overeating with studies of drug addiction, DiLeone says.

They've also found that, at least in animals, sweet or fatty foods can act a lot like a drug in the brain, he says. And there's growing evidence that eating too much of these foods can cause long-term changes in the brain circuits that control eating behavior.

The food-drug link comes from the fact that both animal and human brains include special pathways that make us feel good when we eat, and really good when we eat sweet or fatty foods with lots of calories, DiLeone says.

"Drug addiction is really hijacking some of these pathways that evolved to promote food intake for survival reasons," he says

That doesn't necessarily mean food is addictive the way cocaine is, DiLeone says, but he says there's growing evidence that eating a lot of certain foods early in life can alter your brain the way drugs do.

Food That Changes The Brain

Teresa Reyes, a research assistant professor in the Department of Pharmacology at the University of Pennsylvania showed that in an experiment with mice.

Drug addiction is really hijacking some of these pathways that evolved to promote food intake for survival reasons.

- Ralph DiLeone, associate professor of psychiatry and neurobiology, Yale University

Reyes was part of a team that gave mice a high-fat diet from the time they were weaned until they reached 20 weeks, so they gained significant amounts of weight and became obese. Then the researchers looked at the brain's pleasure centers — areas known to change in drug addiction.

"What we found is that in animals that were obese, there were really dramatic changes in these areas of the brain that participate in telling us how rewarding food is," Reyes says. The changes made these areas less responsive to fatty foods, so an obese mouse would have to eat more fat than a typical mouse to get the same amount of pleasure, she says.

And some of the changes didn't go away, even when the mice returned to a normal diet.

"So it is similar to what happens in cases of chronic drug abuse," Reyes says. "The reward circuitry changes in a similar way and that promotes the seeking of that drug, or in our case, in seeking palatable food."

That could help explain why obese children tend to remain that way as adults, she says.

Addictive Food?

More evidence of a link between food and drugs comes from a team that has been trying to understand how hunger can trigger an animal's craving for drugs.

"Hungry animals will take a lot of drugs," says Uri Shalev, a researcher at Concordia University in Montreal.

Protein Data Bank

Neuropeptide Y, a brain chemical, makes animals feel hungry. Research at Concordia University in Montreal is using the chemical to study the link between food and drugs in the brain.

Shaleve and his colleagues studied rats that had learned to give themselves heroin by pressing a lever. When the scientists removed the heroin, the rats mostly stopped pressing the lever. But when the scientists also took away the rat's food, the lever pressing came back with a vengeance.

The rats would press the lever hundreds of times, "even though they don't get the drug anymore," Shalev says.

The team thought this behavior might involve a substance in the brain called neuropeptide Y, which makes animals feel hungry. And, sure enough, when hungry rats got a substance that blocks neuropeptide Y, they stopped pressing the lever.

Many other studies also have shown links between food and drugs.

A Swedish team found that a stomach hormone called ghrelin could make rats seek sugar the way addicts seek drugs. And a team at the University of California, Santa Barbara found that male rats chose sugar over small amounts of cocaine, while female rats did just the opposite.

Even so, DiLeone, the Yale researcher, says it's still not clear how far the food-drug comparison holds up, especially in people.

"There's an ongoing argument in my field whether food is addictive or not," he says. "But whether it's addictive or not, there's probably components that are similar to addiction."

That means it makes sense to focus on eating behavior early in life, when the brain is adapting to a particular environment. It also probably makes sense to take approaches used to treat addiction and adapt them to overeating," DiLeone says.

The new studies on overeating and addiction were presented at the 2010 Society for Neuroscience meeting in San Diego.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I wish Jillian lived next door...

I've been trying to motivate myself to workout in the mornings again. I don't know why I just won't do it. I thought, this morning, if Jillian Michaels was my neighbor, then we would probably be friends, and I could ask her for help with this issue. She is probably an early riser and would probably be more than happy to come over and say, "Get on that treadmill!" or, I imagine, she would call me at 6:00am and say, "Are you dressed? Then, get dressed and get on that treadmill because I'm going to call you back in 5 minutes and you better be out of breath!" :D

Jillian is awesome like that.

But, alas, she is not my neighbor or my friend so I'm just going to have to access my inner Jillian for awhile. I wrote, a week or so ago, about wanting to make exercise a regular part of my life. Trying to make a small change in that department...it's been a difficult one. Taking it one day at a time. The small change this morning, got up in time to sit and have coffee and check email and stuff before I work out. I have been trying to get up in time to just go work out but end up not sticking to it because I like my morning coffee time. So why fight it? Why not make the time to get up, have coffee, THEN workout??

Speaking of small changes...I did make one, over the weekend, that I'm rather proud of...I cut the sugar I put in my coffee, in half. I usually use 1 teaspoon of sugar per cup. On Sunday, I started using 1/2 teaspoon per cup and, honestly, I don't miss it. It's a small thing, I know but does save me 23-30 calories every morning. Small changes = big accomplishments.

This morning, I found this poster from the Love Your Body campaign from the NOW Foundation...wanted to share:

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Clean Eating Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Sundays are Dinner from the Clean Eating Cookbook. Tonight I'm making Arugula Polenta with Chicken (page 118). And for dessert, Oatmeal Raisin Cookies (page 221).

Ingredients:
  • Nonstick cooking spray
  • 1/2 cup canola oil
  • 1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp Sucanat
  • 1 egg white
  • 3/4 tsp vanilla extract
  • 3 tbsp water
  • 2 cups Old Fashioned Quaker Oats
  • 2/3 cup whole-wheat baking flour
  • 1/4 tsp sea salt
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 2/3 cup raisins
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
Instructions
Preheat oven 350 degrees. Grease baking sheet with nonstick spray. In a bowl, hand-mix oil and Sucanat. Add egg white, vanilla and water; mix well. Add oats, flour, salt, baking soda, raisins and cinnamon, and mix until just blended to retain the texture of oats. Drop batter by teaspoons onto baking sheet. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until bottoms are lightly browned.

Per cookie - 70 calories, 3.5g fat, 9g carbs, 1g fiber

Friday, November 5, 2010

15 Shocking Food Industry Secrets

I wanted to share this great little article by David Zinczenko (Eat This, Not That!). A lot of what he says echos the book I just read (and talked about in previous posts), The End of Overeating.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

One Small Change = One Big Accomplishment

If I could change one thing about myself right now, it's my avoidance of exercise. I would like to be one of those people who must exercise everyday or they don't feel right. I want it to be a habit like brushing my teeth and taking a shower. It's not something I think about but if I don't do it, I don't feel right.

I want to exercise in the mornings. My biggest excuse? I can't get up early enough. I go to bed at 10pm every night but cannot seem to get out of bed before 6:30am. If I'm going to exercise in the mornings, I really need to be up by 5:45 at the latest.

Maybe it's a thing where I just have to suck it up and do it for the first few weeks...I know that my body responds well to exercise and when I'm doing it daily, I have so much more energy and I sleep better.

Ideas?

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween

Where did October go?

I've been so focused on my job, that I haven't had time for much else. Change has come into my life yet again. I need to learn to be flexible and accepting of the winds of change...

I need balance and a routine of caring for myself...I'm tired of trying to "get back on track" and tired of giving so much energy to those who don't care about me. I give all that energy and have none left for me...must figure out how to change this.

At any rate...hope everyone has had a great fall and is planning a Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The End of Overeating

A few months ago Cathy and I were talking about the foods that we crave. She was saying that she craves savory carbs like mashed potatoes and pizza. I was saying that I crave sweet fats like cakes, brownies, donuts, and moist/chewy cookies (high fat, high sugar carbs).

I started reading a book this weekend that talks specifically about this subject. The End of Overeating by David Kessler is a study of the American diet. It's fascinating and validates what I've known about myself for years. I'm addicted to those kinds of foods. Not just the thought of those foods...not so much a psychological addiction...I'm talking about a physical addiction.

"When we put food rich in sugar, fat, and salt in our mouths, we stimulate neurons, which are the basic cells of the brain. Neurons are connected in circuits and communicate with one another to create feelings, store information, and control behavior. They respond to rewarding foods by firing electical signals and releasing brain chemicals that then travel to interconnected neurons. We say those neurons are 'encoded' for palatability"(p35).

Kessler makes the case that we are physically addicted to foods high in fat, sugar, and salt through palatability, rewarding foods, and interconnected neurons.

Finally! The Why!!! Is that helpful at all? Maybe. I guess I will see. As I read more of this book, I will share more of it. Sorry to cut this post short...per usual, I am multi-tasking...big/busy work week. :)

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Yoga of Eating

I've been reading this book for the last few weeks. Pretty interesting stuff...but basically, it's what you'd think. If yoga is about being present, being in the moment...then the yoga of eating is about being present when one is eating.

I read a line last night and thought that I would share it here because it is one of those truths that I want to remind myself of..."...even the most thorough change happens one choice at a time." What that is getting to, for me, is that the choices we make add up. So if we are constantly choosing to put off our weight loss efforts, then we will never lose the weight we want to lose. If we choose, most of the time, to put our health first, then we will achieve our weight loss goals.

Something else that struck me...the notion about eating when your attention is elsewhere and the idea that one is eating what one's attention is on. So, Eisenstein writes, "In a sense, if your attention is elsewhere when you eat, you are not eating the food at all. The Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh tells a story of a friend wolfing down tangerines while talking animatedly about something he was angry about, and points out that at that moment, he wasn't really eating the tangerines at all, he was eating the anger. So...
- If you watch TV while you eat, you are eating the TV program.
-If you read while you eat, you are eting the words.
-If you eat when angry, you are eating the anger.
-If you eat while absorbed by the scenery, you are eating the scenery.
-If you talk a lot while you eat, you are eating your conversation.

This is to say that eating is a special time, even a sacred time, in which a person is in an especially absorptive state. While eating, the body is keyed to take in energy from the world. One is eating the entire experience of the meal, not just the physical food. The ambiance and emotional environment contribute to this experience, to the extent that they influence one's own state of mind."

In my experience, that is so true. Maybe that's why one of my favorite things to do is to go out to a nice dinner with good company...because it's not just the food, but the experience...the atmosphere, the sounds, the scenery, the table, the plate of food, and the company.

So...a pause, perhaps, is in order when I eat...sitting at a dining room table instead of in front of the TV...sitting and having breakfast and/or lunch without working on my laptop at the same time...or even, just a pause before eating, a blessing and gratitude for the nourishment and, at least, a few mindful bites...

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Action Helps

Yesterday, I worked all day and through the evening. Had a few things that had to be done and when I finally closed my laptop (around 9:30pm), I felt better about some things. I actually slept through the night.

It's a small thing but something for me to keep in mind. When I am feeling depressed and anxious, the best thing for me to do is to act.

There was a line from the movie Nemo that I loved..."Just keep swimming." To me it's always meant "hang in there"...but now it holds more meaning. Move. Act. Do something. Don't shut down.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Opening to Optimism...

  • "Anything is possible."

  • "My circumstances do not create me, I create my circumstances."

  • "The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life."

  • "I always have a choice."

  • "I choose to live in a positive way."


  • I know I need to cultivate optimism. When things look bleak, one sure fire way to turn things around is to focus on the positive.

    Monday, October 4, 2010

    I need a new attitude...

    I am depressed. This is mainly due to my work situation. What was going so well for the past 6 months has just gone all wrong. I dread it now. I know I need to reshape my attitude really fast...I just don't know what to do. I wish the economy were in better shape right now. I'd love to find something else that is a better fit for me. I'm really so depressed and feel like everything that I have worked for over the past 6 months has been for nothing. I just feel awful.

    I joined Curves today. Yeah, yeah, I know all about the CEO. I completely do not agree with his political or religious views. And, I get that by giving Curves my business, in a small way, I'm contributing to the success of this man. It's his karma...

    Frankly, I don't care. I care more about me. I need to find a way to lose this extra weight. I have been struggling with this for too long. My body responds really well to exercise. I think I can get on a plan with this gym and stick with it until I lose this extra weight. It's a 30 minute workout, three times a week. That's 1500 calories a week. I plan to continue doing yoga three times a week. And, I plan to do cardio, in the mornings, 5 times a week. This should get me burning 3500 calories a week. If I can do that and restrict my calories to 1400 a day, then I should be losing about 2 pounds a week. Which means, I'd reach my goal in 5 months...beginning of March.

    What do you think?

    Tuesday, September 28, 2010

    Anxiety, again, some more...

    Yet another change at work. And I am a basket of anxiety, insecurity, and paranoia. I've been putting up with this for 3 years. I'm tired of it...really. This morning, I'm feeling pretty resentful.

    My new boss started yesterday and she was grumpy at first and kind of weird. The back story? She's the 3rd boss I've had in 6 months (not counting the guy that I report to above them). The first two told me, point blank, move into this office when I'm gone. I didn't do it when the first one left because I was told that a new boss was coming within a week or so. And she did, and I really adored her. She was smart, kind, and took me under her wing. Then she left at the beginning of August and said move into that office...you need the privacy and it's empty. So I did. And since I've been there, others have told me to stay put.

    Then yesterday the new lady started. And the guy never said anything about giving her that office...even during our one on one on Friday. So, it became pretty obvious, pretty fast, that the new lady didn't have a place to land...so I told her, look I'll just move out to one of those cubes. No big deal. And she was all, NO WAY...I'll address this with boss man. I'm like, "bleh."

    Anyway, all this translates into ANXIETY for me. Not to mention it's TOM again so I know my hormones are magnifying everything. I should just get there early and move my stuff out.

    I guess all of this seems pretty inconsequential to most people...I mean, really, who cares? Office politics are tricky...and this place always, always has something going on. I'm just so tired of it. I'm tired of working 10 hours a day. I'm tired of playing office politics. I'm tired of walking the tight rope.

    When I was at Richards, the day they made me move out of my office and back into the general office space, was the day I started looking for a new job...

    Saturday, September 4, 2010

    Day 6 - WTF, again...

    When I weighed yesterday...those extra pounds were gone.

    When do you think I will learn not to pay too much attention to the numbers on the scale???

    Yesterday was weird. I worked from home and was so busy that I didn't get to breakfast until 11:30. I had a bowl of cereal with some raisins, banana, and almond milk. Then I didn't have anything until 5:30...I hate those days, honestly. So when Cathy got home we went up to Marty's and had a couple glasses of wine (first drink of the week!) and some artichoke bruschetta, tuna salad stuffed tomatoes, and a small cheese plate. When we got home, we had a cookie.

    Another lesson for me...could barely keep my eyes open at 10pm...combine an intense work day with two glasses of wine means I am knocked out by 9:30pm.

    Yesterday's Diet Journal Prompt: Today, see if you can tell the difference between how it feels to eat when you're hungry and how it feels to eat when you're feeling stressed. Write about those reflections.

    Yesterday, I ate when I was hungry. And it felt fine. I mean, I was really hungry when I had that bowl of soup. I was probably a little stressed too because I was working...but I think I was more hungry than stressed. Then when I went to Marty's I was just plain hungry. It was good...I didn't feel guilty about that meal. It was delicious and I ate it with gusto!

    So glad to have a long weekend!!! And a short work week next week and the week after is our vacation.

    Thursday, September 2, 2010

    Day 5 -- WTF?

    Damnit. Seriously. This is what derails me faster than anything.

    I was feeling pretty good this morning. Went downstairs to check the scale. Um. A gain of 3 pounds??? Okay, yeah, yeah, I haven't gained 3 pounds of fat. There's no way I have consummed enough calories for that to have happened over the past few days. BUT damnit...this is supposed to be the anti-bloat diet...how am I retaining water??? Am I doing it wrong??? I'm following the rules...WTF?

    Okay...deep breath.

    Non-scale victories...

    Be consistent...don't give up...that "water weight" could drop off next week.

    Go to yoga tonight.

    Breathe.

    What was my mantra? Look better, live better, feel better, be better.

    The scale doesn't mean crap...right?!

    Wednesday, September 1, 2010

    Days 3 and 4 of Anti-Bloat Diet

    When I wrote yesterday morning, I was writing about Day 2 (Monday), so before I get too far behind, I want to catch up.

    Yesterday was a fairly good day. I got in a workout on my treadmill in the morning before work. I was able to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, despite the fact that I was so busy at work. Sadly, I did not make it out of the office in time to go to yoga...in fact, I didn't even leave the office until well after 6pm. Got home and relaxed a little bit and then we had a fairly healthy dinner (grilled steak - 4oz each), organic yellow corn, organic broccoli, and a small salad. I went to bed on time and was able to sleep fairly well through the night.

    This morning I got up, had 2 cups of coffee and then did my treadmill workout. Packed breakfast, lunch and a snack and then booked it out the door to the office. Was so insanely busy that I only got in part of my breakfast, did get in lunch but no snack. Didn't leave the office until well past 6pm again.

    As it turns out, the chicken I'd put in the fridge hadn't defrosted, so we decided to have eggs and toast for dinner. I made 1/2 whole eggs and 1/2 egg whites scrambled, with some good whole wheat toast, and two turkey sausage links. I had a banana and less than half a cup of coconut milk ice cream for dessert.

    Tomorrow I plan to do more of the same. I'm feeling pretty good and have added to my new mantra: look better, live better, feel better, be better!

    By the way - the journal prompts for days 3 and 4:

    Practice mindful eating. If you watch TV, check your e-mail, even read the newspaper during meals, you will be distracted from how much and how fast you're eating. Have one meal today in total peace and quiet. Take your time, savor the taste and texture of the food and, eventually, the sensation of fullness. Be conscious of the emotions you feel while you eat. Write about the experience.

    I did not do this on day 3. I usually eat breakfast and lunch at my desk while I'm working. I just don't have time to sit there and eat and pay attention to my feelings. I don't mean for this to come across as negatively as it sounds. So perhaps I need to take the time to just sit and feel. I mean, it's what? 15-20 mins at most.

    For dinner, we usually eat at the table. There was a month or so when we were eating on the sofa in front of the TV because we'd covered the dining room table with projects we were working on. But that got old real fast, so we moved everything so that we could get back to eating at the table. I prefer it...sitting on the sofa, eating dinner while watching TV doesn't feel good to me. We are not talking to each other and it's just uncomfortable to have to eat in that position. When we eat at the table, I feel more comfortable, the cat and dog don't beg as much, we are focused on the meal and on each other...it's a time for us to catch up. I like that!

    Think of a meal that didn't go well - maybe you overindulged or ate something you later wished you hadn't. Imagine you could go back and "do over" that meal. Write about what you would do differently next time around.

    So many meals that haven't gone well, and so little time to write about them. But, I gotta say, I love a good "do over." Ideally, for any meal that didn't go well...I'd eat healther. Usually, when I feel bad about a meal, it's because it is a lot of processed fake food. :)

    Tuesday, August 31, 2010

    Day 2 Anti Bloat Diet

    So I worked out yesterday morning. And I did fairly well all day despite the crappy breakfast smoothie I had. (Note to self: smoothies are not a good way for me to go because they don't make me feel full and don't sustain me through to lunch). I missed my yoga class! I was super bummed about that. Before I knew it, it was 5:20 and by the time I got my stuff packed and to the car it was 5:35...no way to get to WPY by 6pm and changed (I'd brought my yoga stuff). I gave it a shot but didn't even get to the river until 6pm. So I went home.

    The good news? I didn't dive into a bottle of wine after such a long, intense day (yesterday would have been a 2 glass night). I was really hungry though and totally screwed up my dinner. I came home and just had crackers and cheese and olives. Not such a horrible thing but the cheese was brie instead of string and was enough to put me over my calories. Then I had a salad. But the topper was...I ate about 1/2 cup of Graters peach ice cream. Again, not exactly a binge but more than I should eat if I want to LOSE weight and not MAINTAIN.

    Then, I fell asleep on the sofa while watching The Closer. I think I saw about 15 minutes of it. At about ten 'til 10, I said good night and went to bed. I slept through the night. So I guess I was tired. I woke up this morning at 6 and decided to have two cups of coffee before getting on the treadmill this morning. Today will be a better day. Though I may not make it to yoga because I will need to leave right at 4:15 and that's going to be really hard to do since my boss is in town (when he's here we tend to work really long hours).

    Speaking of bosses...I am meeting the new "prospective" VP of Marketing today. I hope she's nice...but really how can anyone tell anything about anybody in the span of a few minutes? Frankly, I doubt my ability to spot an asshole any longer. Most people can put a mask in place and hold it there for months before it slips. The good news is, she's a friend of my boss...and he's pretty awesome soooo I'm hoping she's a lot like him.

    Day 2 Anti-bloat Journal: List four things that will help you succeed on the diet. Now write about what you are going to do to ensure that you get each of the four things you need.

    Oh boy...hmmmm. Four things that will help me succeed on the diet?
    1. Having a backup plan when things go unexpectedly.
    2. The support of my partner.
    3. Staying focused on my goals.
    4. Getting results.

    What am I going to do to ensure that I get each of those four things? Okay, having a back up plan means that I need to plan for the times when everything doesn't go as planned. Haha. Easier said than done, right? Well, what's awesome is that I already have a few lists of food ideas for when I come home and am famished and don't feel like cooking. I need to make copies of those and keep them handy in the kitchen. And when I miss a yoga class...I can go downstairs and either practice yoga with a DVD or simply plan to do just 2 relaxation postures like legs up the wall or something like that.

    The support of my partner, I have. Cathy is really awesome about supporting me...she tells me I look good when I lose a pound or two (and she means it!) and she is usually pretty good about not bringing a lot of junk/trigger foods in the house when she knows that I am serious. And, to top it off, she is in healthy eating mode as well.

    Staying focused on my goals...harder. When I am hungry and in a mood...focusing on my goals and caring about them is a fairly hard thing to do. What can I do? Maybe just stop and breathe through a 10 count and then remind myself of my goals...look better, feel better, be better. Oh? Is that my new mantra? Hmmm...I like it. Will have to keep that one in my back pocket!

    And finally...nothing keeps me on track like seeing results. So I need to be sure to recognize all of the "non-scale" victories as well as how much weight I'm losing. Knowing that I'm making progress will help me stay on track and not chuck it all.

    Okay...time to go workout.

    Sunday, August 29, 2010

    Day 1 of Anti Bloat Diet

    I ended up taking a couple of days to settle after the jumpstart...suggested by the program. But still, stuck with it fairly closely. Though on Friday and Saturday nights I did have 2 glasses of wine. And Saturday morning, I had 2 cups of coffee. (I'm having 2 cups this morning too!). And when I weighed yesterday morning, I had lost another pound. This has been kind of awesome because nothing bloats like that TOM and that TOM arrived last Wednesday. To get through that without gaining 5 pounds of water was very nice.

    So, this morning I begin the 28 day phase...

    I am encouraged to keep a journal for this phase so I wanted to share a bit of that here (and will do so over the next 27 days as well):

    Write down at least three reasons why you have chosen to go on this diet. Describe how you feel about the 28 days ahead and what you expect from yourself.

    Three reasons...1) I don't like how I look in clothes, 2) I feel better when I'm carrying less weight, 3) I want to do something for myself that I know will make a big difference in my quality of life.

    I am somewhat nervous about the next 28 days...will I be able to do it? Will I stick with it? What is going to happen to derail me? But I'm also kind of excited about it because if I have as much success as I had on the 4 day, then I will lose about 10 pounds and be that much closer to my goal.

    I expect that I will have good days and not so good days. I am going to think positive here and say that I totally believe in myself and anything that I've ever wanted to do, I have done. I have the tools at my disposal. I have shopping lists, meal plans, quick 'grab & go' ideas for when I have about 2 minutes to pack my breakfast and lunch and get out the door, I have motivation, I have determination, and I have a secret weapon. I have made the decision to purchase an unlimited pass for yoga for the month of September. This means, I'll be able to take 4 classes a week (I could take more but there are 4 that I want to take).

    There are two things that I'm nervous about...the exercise portion and vacation. The exercise portion consists of 6 days of workouts per week. Walking everyday for 30 minutes and weight training everyday as well. Which means that I will need to do these workouts every morning before work...which means, getting up at and getting to it early. Now, this shouldn't be too much of an issue, if, ideally, I'm not drinking coffee on weekday mornings and drinking wine on weekday nights (because I should be sleeping better when I'm not having caffeine and alcohol on a daily basis)...which means, I should be able to get up earlier and not engage in my usual time killer of drinking a few cups of coffee while I check my email and watch the news. But I'm a little nervous about this piece of the 'diet' because I haven't been very successful in the past few years of getting on a morning workout routine. However, positively speaking, I can do it! I have done it for short periods of time in the past two years, surely I can do it for a few weeks.

    Hah. That was convoluted, I know...hope you were able to follow that "logic"...

    I am most worried about vacation. Again, ideally, it should be a good, healthy vacation. We plan to be pretty active while there and we are staying in a cabin with a full kitchen so we are going to take our own food but getting out of my routine and missing yoga classes and the treadmill is going to be a problem for me. I mean, yeah, I can go for walks in the morning and could do some yoga on my own in the evenings...buuuuuut.

    But. What is the alternative? Because I'm so nervous about screwing up when I go on vacation I don't even start the 28 days??? There's always going to be something that gets in the way of routine...I can't live like a hermit until I lose weight. My life is not like the Biggest Loser where I can live sequestered on a ranch with a bunch of other people who are focused on losing weight. In my world, I'm the only one who cares about my weight and the only one who will keep me on track.

    And so...day 1 begins. (Yoga tonight! Yay!).

    Thursday, August 26, 2010

    I'm Gonna Kick Fat's Ass...

    The results are in from my 4 day jumpstart. Lost 4.6 pounds of bloat and 2 inches off my belly. Pretty much, all I drank was water and I stayed well hydrated.

    Today kicks off the 28 day version.

    I am starting the day feeling a bit tired. I woke up around 2:00am last night and tossed and turned for a good two hours before I fell back asleep until 6:00. So I am having coffee this morning! Oh coffee, I kinda didn't miss you. Surprisingly. I think I can be good with 2 cups (by the way, as was just pointed out by our last weekend guest, we use small coffee cups...like I can barely fit 1 cup of liquid in the cup and I generally don't fill it to the rim with hot coffee...I'm just not coordinated enough to walk from the kitchen to the living room with a full cup of piping hot coffee). Oh and trying a new non-dairy creamer...it's coconut milk. And I gotta say, yummy! I really like it! It's called So Delicious Coconut Milk Creamer. I found it at Whole Foods. (I've had their ice cream before and it's really good too...).

    So, anyhoodle.

    I'm supposed to reflect upon the last 4 days and think about the following:
    • What were the hardest things for you to cope with?
    • What turned out to be not as bad as you had feared?
    • When did hunger rear its head?
    • Which mind tricks helped the most?
    The hardest? Not having coffee in the mornings and drinking a glass or two of wine in the evenings.

    What turned out not to be so bad? Not having coffee in the mornings and drinking a glass of wine in the evenings. I know I just said it was hard but the thing is, it turned out not to be so bad. Especially since I woke up and had a nice big glass of water instead and in the evenings I took a yoga class (which took the edge of the day off without the wine!). And, for full disclosure...as I mentioned in my previous post, I didn't take yoga last night. So when I got home, I asked Cathy if she wanted to go up to Marty's Hops & Vines for a glass of wine. So there's my clue by four! (another clue for me - the wine I had is probably what caused me to wake up in the middle of the night and feel so tired this morning).

    When did hunger rear it's head? Usually I was good to go for breakfast and lunch. Usually around 3pm I started feeling hungry so it was a good thing I had a snack. And by dinner I was usually pretty hungry. Though going to a yoga class helped to temper that.

    What mind tricks helped the most? I don't know if I used any mind tricks. Though a couple of times, in the evening, after dinner, I wanted something sweet...but thought, it's only a few days and I really want to see some results on the scale. I guess that would be reminding myself of my goal.

    All in all...I felt really good for those 4 days. I especially felt good on Tuesday. I woke up feeling refreshed and not bloated. I felt energized and looked forward to the end of the day for the yoga class instead of the wine glass.

    Looking forward to seeing how the next 28 days go!

    Wednesday, August 25, 2010

    Day 4 of Anti Bloat Diet

    On the last day of the anti-bloat diet. Did I say it's just a jumpstart? There's actually another "phase" that last 28 days. It's a bit easier, I guess...basically, instead of 3 300 calorie meals with one 300 calorie snack, there's 3 400 calorie meals with one 400 calorie snack.

    I think, taking a yoga class every day I was on the jumpstartwas very helpful. It kept me focus and on track. There isn't a class, tonight, that I'm interested in and I have plans to make dinner for a friend, so I'll be "off" tonight. That kind of makes me nervous because I am generally the kind of person who sticks to an "exercise" program by momentum. If I get thrown off, then it's harder for me to get started again. However, I am planning to go to another yoga class tomorrow and then again on Sunday.

    I thought I could come home today and get on the treadmill to keep that momentum going. Or I could practice yoga myself. With the next 28 day phase definitely recommends 30 mins of walking a day and a weight training session each day as well. So that's something I'm going to have to plan for.

    Another update tomorrow!

    Tuesday, August 24, 2010

    Day 3 of Anti Bloat Diet

    I am feeling much less bloated today! And I'm down 3 pounds. I am very hydrated...drinking plenty of water. No wine or coffee though. And took a kick ass yoga class yesterday. Sooo...feeling pretty good.

    Plan to take another yoga class today...gentle yoga with Alison at WPY. Should be lovely...though I must say, I'm missing Yoga Tiffany! Got to get on her schedule for September. :)

    Lots of work to do today but I intend to glide through...get as much done as one woman can and leave the office early so that I can make it to WPY in time for class.

    Short update, I know...just wanted to touch base!

    Monday, August 23, 2010

    Day 2 of Anti-Bloat diet

    So there's an idea out there that certain foods cause bloating and water retention and chronic inflammation. I am fairly active and don't binge or eat fried foods (or fast foods) and many times I will restrict my calories to try and lose some weight. As you know, I'm frequently frustrated by my efforts. So I did a little research and discovered that there's actually evidence to support that what we eat can lead to chronic bloating and inflammation; two symptoms that I struggle with day after day.

    This diet is one way to wipe the slate clean and start to see if inflammation and bloat are the reasons that I'm having issues losing weight. So instead of starting my day with coffee, this morning, I'm drinking a big glass of water. I don't think there's any processed white sugars and bread/grains. In fact, there's no bread. There's unsweetened corn flakes at breakfast and brown rice at dinner but that's it. There's no wine or caffeine.

    I have committed to taking a yoga class each day.

    After Wednesday, I will bump up my daily caolorie intake by 400 calories and be sure that I am having a monounsaturated fat at every meal. The principles of this way of eating are similar to every "good" diet out there...3 meals and one snack all 4 hours apart, clean eating/whole foods rather than "food" made up of chemicals (re: fat-free, low fat, processed, etc.), and counting calories. The difference is the addition of the monounsaturated fat at every meal and the focus on not eating foods that cause water retention or bloating (like salt - switching to herbs or something like Ms. Dash).

    I keep trying to find a way to get to a healthier place...I try not to give up entirely. And if I see results following this plan, then I will continue down that road.

    Friday, August 20, 2010

    If I felt skinny...

    My local radio station, WKRQ, is running a contest. I applied tonight. The morning show host, Jenn, is looking for some ladies to join her in a 12 week weight loss program.

    I think I'd be a great candidate...I could certainly offer support and motivation to my team mates...

    But, more than that, I think I'd make a good story. I've got 50 pounds to lose. I could do that in 12 weeks, or come damn close. I'd be taking lots of workout classes and with the support of other women, I am positive that I could do it.

    Wish me luck! :)

    Sunday, August 15, 2010

    Yoga today and tomorrow

    I am going to World Peace Yoga today for Yin Restorative Yoga and tomorrow for the World Peace Yoga class and companion study group. I am actively in pursuit of balance...I'd go see Eat, Pray, Love if I had the time. (We decided we would do that next weekend!).

    Tonight I'm making Vegan Dahl for the WPY potluck tomorrow night. Will take some jasmine rice to accompany the dish but no creme fraiche (dairy). Guess I could do a dallop of soy yogurt but I am not a fan of things soy (it can be a hormone disruptor for women).

    I am steeling myself to read the World Peace Diet book (first three chapters)...I have had a couple of friends ask me, "...if it's so gruesome, why read it, ...why do this to yourself?" Why, indeed? I don't know. I guess there's some part of me that is always trying to get healthier...and though I am certainly struggling with taking off the extra weight...it doesn't prevent me from constantly trying to be healthier. I do believe that a mainly vegetarian diet is the best diet for humans.

    But, also, I am very interested in practing compassion and kindness and to do so means that I need to start looking at how what I eat is the antithesis of compassion. I want to be more positive and eat in a positive manner ...to do so, I probably need to do as Michael Pollen suggests, and eat mostly plants.

    So I want to explore, or at least become aware of, the alternatives out there. For the record, the vegan lifestyle is probably not for me. I think there's probably too much denial in it for me to be comfortable with. (By the way, I am aware of how self-indulgent and privileged I sound here...nice that I can make these choices when so many people are suffering from hunger). And, let me note, for full disclosure, I'm not even close to being vegetarian...I had flank steak last night, for crying out loud (yes it was local and organic but that's not the point is it?).

    More on this later...

    Friday, August 13, 2010

    What week is it???

    I did not get a chance to weigh this morning. I am on my second day off...and slept in...didn't get out of bed until 7:30. I stumbled down the stairs and found that Cathy was already up and had coffee made. Had a couple of cups in between picking up stuff because we were having two people come over today to help with our "honey do" list.

    As I type this, we are getting a new front door. Cathy and I found a beautiful door at our local reuse center (do you know about reuse centers? they are awesome for picking up stuff to fix up your house...check out the link above to see what Building Value is all about). The door is solid oak with beautiful cut glass panes. We paid $100 for it...this door brand new would have cost, easily, $750. Our handyman is installing it right now. (Pix to follow).

    And, we have a new cleaning lady. Not that we've had one before but Cathy met her through our neighbors. She is very reasonable so we thought it would be a big help to us to have her come in at least once a month. She's still in the kitchen...been there almost 3 hours. YIKES!! (It was a hot mess...but I want her to get to the bathroom too and we only have her for 5 hours).

    So all this to say, I wasn't able to get down to the scale before they got here. I'll weigh in tomorrow.

    This week I have been practicing more yoga and meditation. Yoga Tiffany came on Sunday and then I went to another class at World Peace Yoga yesterday. I plan to go back on Sunday and then again on Monday. (Monday is World Peace Yoga and the companion study group).

    One thing that bugs me about yoga is that it's hard to find yoga clothes for plus sized women. Seriously. Most of the yoga clothes makers only go up to a size 12. I did a little search online though and foundout that Danskin makes stuff for plus sized women. I usually don't have a problem finding yoga pants, but finding tank tops that fit without gaping at the bust (so that I'm showing the whole class my DDs). Ran over to pick up some tank tops today and got them for $3-$5 a piece! A great deal and they fit great. I wish they were a little longer to come down to my hips but at least they will fit me and keep my girls covered and still allow me to move with bagging the way a t-shirt does.

    Something fun...you know the new Karate Kid came out. Well, I watched those movies when I was a teen and loved them. So I wanted to see the new one...I guess for nostalgia reasons but wanted to watch the old ones first. Couldn't find them for rent so I looked on amazon and saw the whole set (4) used for $20. Ordered them and they arrived today. Oh and Cathy has never seen any of them...guess it'll be a Karate Kid weekend. Yes, I am a dork. But even though they are pretty corny, I love the message in them.

    Another movie I want to see is Eat, Pray, Love. I really loved the book...read it a few times and bought a bunch of copies to give to friends. I think the movie comes out next weekend so I'm hoping to go see it then.

    I'm so glad to have this time off. I have been lacking in balance for a long time and trying to get back in balance is something that I need. I think resting, taking yoga classes, going to the movies, having fun...I think those things will help me get there.

    Friday, August 6, 2010

    Week 8: Two Months Later...still 46.4 pounds to go.

    Back in the day, I would have lost 30 pounds in two months. Now, I've lost 3.6. That's a pathetic effort. And no, I'm not being hard on myself...it's just a fact.

    Sure, I've been working. That's my go to excuse these days. My job has been my number one priority since about this time last year. And, if I'm being honest, my job remains a priority. I want to almost double my salary by next year. Ambitious? Maybe. But I'm not getting any younger and I have got to get my finances sorted before it's too late.

    So, all this to say...it's been too easy to blow off exercise because I'm too tired when I wake up and exhausted and stressed by the time I get home from work. And, while I often make healthy choices regarding food, I still have my moments where I will have a couple of cookies after dinner or have mac and cheese for dinner (or add butter to my grilled corn on the cob). Not enough calories to put me on a path to gaining. If I were trying to maintain my weight over the past couple of years, I would have done a bang up job!

    I just can't seem to get that intensity and motivation to go the extra mile to actually lose any weight. I keep telling myself that I can do it. I keep trying to get myself psyched and motivated. I read about losing weight (books, blogs, etc.) and I write about it. I buy food stuffs that are good for me. I have my home gym set up...one that has worked for me in the past. I have found a style of yoga that I really enjoy. But none of these things have actually helped me to lose weight.

    Looking at the big picture...what I am beginning to understand is that I might need to feel good about where I am...about who I am...right now...right here in this moment.

    I was reading the latest Shambala magazine (the focus of the whole issue is meditation...it's a really great issue) and one idea that I am going to try...say to yourself, before you fall asleep at night, "I'm going to get up 30 mins early tomorrow and get on the treadmill before I do anything else." Then let yourself ask, "Really?" Then respond. "Really. I am going to do it." And if you can't respond in that way, then save yourself the let down and be honest, "No, I'm going to get up and make coffee and watch the news and surf the web."

    I want to try that. I think it's about setting the intention and following through just one night at a time.

    Tuesday, August 3, 2010

    World Peace Yoga

    The best yoga class I've taken (outside of my classes with Yoga Tiffany) at any yoga studio in Cincinnati. Loved it. It was challenging but not exhausting. Incorporated chanting and plenty of resting/rejuvenating postures but also enough activity that I was sweating and breathing hard through a bit of it. Can't wait for next Monday.

    And then there was the World Peace Diet Study Group...the food was very very good. It's basically a pot luck....everyone brings vegan dishes (or you can just pay $9) for dinner. And then we went around the table and introduced ourselves. Lots of very young people in the group...I was, probably, one of the oldest. But a warm sense of community and welcoming...so that was great. And then we watched the video I posted below (don't worry, it's not gross...or sad or anything...I would encourage you to give it a quick watch).

    The thing that struck me about the video...the amount of water that we would save by being vegan just a couple days a week.

    Really interesting!

    A Life Connected - Part 1

    Sunday, August 1, 2010

    Vegan Brownies - Surprise Chocolate Brownies

    They are in the oven as I type this...will know this evening whether they are any good! Stay tuned...

    But here's the recipe, in case you are interested. By the way, I found this recipe in Yoga Magazine, Issue 88, page 66. They credit the booklet, Veggie Kids' Kitchen http://www.vegsoc.org/

    Makes 12 at about 141 calories each. Calories for the whole pan are appx 1690.

    Ingredients:
    1 cup dates (organic)
    2 oz whole wheat flour (organic)
    2 tsp baking powder (I use the aluminum free kind!)
    3 tbsp cocoa powder
    8 tbsp vegan butter (Earth Balance, I use the soy free kind)
    1 very ripe banana, mashed (organic)
    1 tsp vanilla extract (I used fair trade)
    Organic veggie oil for greasing the pan

    Instructions:
    1. Preheat the oven to 350 F.
    2. Place the dates in a medium saucepan with just enough water to cover...cook over med heat for 5 mins or until soft.
    3. Once the dates have softened, drain off the hot water and let cool, then puree the dates (I used a hand blender)
    4. In a small mixing bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, and cocoa powder, then set aside.
    5. In a medium mixing bowl, using a fork, cream together the dates and butter.
    6. Stir in the sifted flour mixture, then add the banana and vanilla.
    7. Grease the baking dish lightly and evenly spread the mixture into it, smoothing the top with a spoon.
    8. Bake for 20-25 mins or until the brownies start to come away from the sides of the dish.
    9. Allow to cool in the pan, cut and serve.

    Reviews to come! I hope they are delish!

    ***********************

    Results: I say "delicious! Light, chocolatey, and definitely brownie like. I mean, they don't taste like something out of a Betty Crocker box but they are really good. Not at all like I was afraid they'd taste...I thought vegan meant tasteless, cardboard...but these are rich and the dates make them chewy."

    Week 7: The Yoga Sutras

    I am working with the Yoga Sutras. Fascinating study...

    I got the set from Amazon at a great price (much lower than what is advertised there now!) and have really enjoyed it so far.

    Like Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching, the Yoga Sutras by Patanjali are bits of philosophy that are intended to make the student happier and more at peace. There are 196 yoga sutras and to really gain an understanding of them takes time and study. So when I found this home study course, I was elated.

    Tomorrow begins my practice at World Peace Yoga. I am going to go ahead and begin working with the study group as well. Instead of paying the $9 fee for the study group, one can opt to bring a vegan dish. So, today, I'm going to make vegan brownies.

    I also have a goal of practicing yoga on my own two other evenings per week (Tuesday and Thursday). For my birthday, my sister and BIL, gave me an iTunes gift card...so with that, I made two purchases...two Yin Yoga "albums" that I have already transferred to my trusty iPod. It is set up in my home gym, ready to go. (Hopefully, we'll be selling the elliptical today...someone's coming by to look at it at noon -- this will give me some space to practice yoga).

    I have got to do something about the stress and anxiety in my life and feel that I can allieviate a lot of it through yoga and meditation. Something so easy and gentle and so good for us should not be a chore...it should be something that we run to. I think, for me, it has been a matter of priority. I have always approached yoga as something I should do and have made time for it like I've made time for myself...always at the bottom of the list.

    In my heart I know that there is only one path to better health in my life and that is by making myself a top priority. I am doing myself no favor by giving everything I've got to everyone else. When do we begin self-care as if our lives depended on it? After we are felled by disease? After we are so far gone that all the yoga in the world won't save us?

    ATHA...and now...readiness for yoga...

    Friday, July 30, 2010

    Week 7: 190.2 - 44.8 pounds to go

    Ack. I gained. Bleh. This is so freaking tiresome.

    But moving on...positive things: I survived two very, very stressful weeks. (I blame the stress hormone, cortisol, for the weight gain...I'm probably also retaining water...)

    I have begun to work into my yoga practice on a more regular basis.

    That's all I have today...it's been a really long week for me and I'm very tired. I've been working all day and night and not sleeping very well at all. I am hopeful that things will lighten up after the big meeting next week and that I will find some breathing room.

    Wednesday, July 28, 2010

    Pardon My Dust...

    Just give me a day or two and I'll have it cleaned up around here. Just thought it might be time for a little change!

    Tuesday, July 27, 2010

    Week 6: Non Dairy Coffee Creamer?

    I love my coffee and have 2-3 cups every morning. First thing I do is shuffle down the stairs into the kitchen and start my morning ritual of making coffee. Back in the day, I sweetened my coffee with fake sugar and poured gallons of vanilla fat free international foods coffee creamer in it. Then, a few years ago, I gave up fake sugar. It took a little while longer for me to make the switch from fake creamer to organic half and half.

    Now I want to make a switch again...because, yesterday, I read something about milk that grossed me the hell out. Seriously. I don't know that I can ever drink milk again. I'm not going to tell you what I read because you may not want to give up milk. :D 

    However, if you're interested, pick up a copy of The World Peace Diet and check out the section about the milk mustache. You'll see what I mean.

    World Peace Diet: Eating for Spiritual Health and Social Harmony

    So this book...it arrived at my doorstep yesterday. I ordered it because I've decided to take a yoga class (World Peace Yoga) on Mondays (followed by The World Peace Diet Study Group). This goes back to my post, the other day, about finding balance. Instead of working ridiculous hours every day of the week, I'm going to, at least, take one night off and do something for myself. So the book arrived and I started flipping through it. One of the sections that caught my eye was the one about the milk mustache, I read it and...wow. So now I'm wary. The thing is I don't really want to be vegan. I thought I had already figured out how I felt about this after I read Omnivore's Dilemma and In Defense of Food. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot I don't eat: pig, duck and veal. (And, as a side note - when you give up eating pork, you really see how much America loves their bacon...it's in EVERYTHING).

    I am not really interested in giving up eating chicken, fish, and beef. Yes, I know I am a hypocrite. I know, I know, but I have justified this by saying I do what I can. I've made my choices and that's how I feel. I thought that I could read this book and go to this class and just be vegan one day of the week. Is that naive? I guess so. I mean, I didn't think that I'd read this book and be so grossed out that it would change my thinking. I just thought it would be all, "animals are awesome and we shouldn't be eating them because we are cruel bitches!"

    I don't mind the milk thing so much because almond milk and rice milk can be great substitutes. I found a non-dairy coffee creamer last night that I have high hopes for.

    MimicCreme Cream Substitute, 32-Ounce Aseptic Boxes (Pack of 4)

    BUT, I didn't consider the dairy products that are staples in my life...that I really love to eat...cheese and butter. How can I walk away from cheese? One of my all time favorite meals is bread and cheese. Oh yeah, I know there's vegan cheese but that stuff doesn't even come close to the artisan cheeses that make up the cheese plates I enjoy. (Not to mention, I don't want to switch everything I eat to soy. I don't believe that soy is good for the environment or women).

    I guess I'll leave that dilemma for another day.

    I will try to remain open to this study group but it's possible that I will chicken out and just take the yoga class!

    Sunday, July 25, 2010

    Week 6: Finding Balance

    I have felt out of balance since the beginning of the year. I have been giving everything I've got to my job and have found little leftover for me, my partner, or anything else.

    It's about to get crazier. And, I gotta say, I'm sick of it. I like change as much as anyone. Truly, I would get bored if it was the same old, same old all the time but seriously, this is getting ridiculous. Nothing at my job is predictable. (Except for the morons who get on my nerves consistently...don't even get me started down that path. There's this one chick who barely knows MS Office, couldn't write herself out of a paper bag, who thinks she could do my job and frequently tells her superiors that she does. Grrrrl please. Be careful what you wish for!).

    At any rate, I was having a conversation with my boss (a lovely lady who has really taken me under her wing and has worked to mentor me on this path) last week and one thing she talked to me about was balance. She said that I need to find more balance and not to work such crazy hours. Yeah, a lot of what I do, I do because I am driven. I feel that I have a lot to prove (especially when I've got stupid biznatches, like I mentioned above, constantly snapping at my heels). And with all the changes that are constantly thrown at me, I really have to be flawless all the time. And, that takes time. More than 8 hours a day, that's for sure.

    So, in an effort to find so balance, I'm going to set some some boundaries for myself. From now on, Mondays at 5pm is quitting time. There's a yoga class I want to take on Monday nights and to get there in time, I need to leave the office at 5pm. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'm leaving the office no later than 5:30, because there's another yoga class I want to take. And, no more waking up at 5:30 in the morning and starting to work (usually the first thing I do is make coffee and open MS Outlook and start answering emails and working on open projects). No, I need to fit in my treadmill workout at that time.

    I don't mind working hard...I'm just tired of killing myself for a job where I make $20k less than the market average and where I can't count on anyone or anything. I need to start looking at the big picture of my career. I need to consider that there's more out there for me. I don't want to wake up on my 47th birthday still feeling stressed out all the time, still 50 pounds overweight, and still exhausted.


    Betty Calman, 83 year old yoga instructor